55 REASONS WHY BAD GIRLS ARE GETTING MARRIED, MORE THAN GOOD GIRLS, PT 1 Dr Chuks Chidube.

INTRODUCTION:
What is Marriage?

Marriage is an institution and it is a legally and/or culturally recognized union between two people that establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them and their children (if any), and their extended families. The specific definition and expectations of marriage vary widely across cultures, religions, and legal systems.

Marriage is indeed a sacred and spiritually significant institution. It can be a civil contract, a religious covenant, or both. Different societies may recognize different forms of marriage, such as monogamy, polygamy, etc.

In this write-up, I , Dr. Chuks Chidube will focus a whole lot on the Christian Marriage.

Who is a good girl?:
For the purpose of this write-up, a good girl is a well-behaved girl. She is respectful and is not seductive in her dress sense. She does not engage in sex with one she is not married to. She abhors gossip, envy, jealousy, bitterness, and other ungodly ways.
As a Christian, she has the fear of God and takes worshipping God very seriously.
The bad girl is simply the opposite of a good girl, in many ramifications.

After serving as a Marriage Counselor for over 38 years, I have found out something that is very weird and worrisome:
Many bad girls are getting married, more than the good girls.

On a good day, most men will prefer to get married to good girls, rather than bad girls. This is strangely not the case in most instances.
I spent many years in my quest to find out the reasons behind this development.

Disclaimer:
This write-up is not intended to promote or glorify being a “Bad Girl.” I fully endorse and recommend the values of being a “Good Girl” any day.

The goal is to explore the reasons behind this trend and reflect on them—with an open mind and a willingness to grow. Let’s dive in and make the necessary adjustments.

1. Many good girls are anti-social.
To be social means for a person to possess the capacity to actively engage with others in a way that fosters connection, communication, and relationships. It involves behaviors and attitudes that reflect an interest in or orientation towards other people, communities, or groups. Many good girls are not social at all and this is a serious minus to them because many men would love to marry a very social lady. To a large extent, being social brings passion, fun, and excitement to a marital relationship, and many men admire this quality.

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2. Many bad girls have sound emotional intelligence.
Emotional Intelligence (EI) is all about being able to recognize, understand, manage, and positively influence your emotions and those of others. This plays a major role in grooming and sustaining a fruitful marital relationship. Over the years, it has been proven that bad girls are better off, when it comes to Emotional Intelligence, than the good girls. This is one of the reasons why they are getting married more than the good girls.

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3. Many bad girls are passionate about getting married.
Passion is one virtue that drives both result and success in this life.
The bad girls don’t take chances, and many of them don’t pretend about desiring to get married. On the other hand, the good girls are so laid back when it comes to getting married. So what I call marital passion and energy is a plus to the bad girls and many men are helplessly captured by this virtue. This is one of the reasons why bad girls are getting married more than the good girls.

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4. Many Christian brothers are pretending. They prefer worldly girls.
To pretend means to act as if something is real, while it is not.
It has been proven over the years that many men that say they are God-fearing and are serving the Lord Jesus Christ, are not honest. They are pretending. So when they want to marry, they are drawn more to bad girls who are actually their real kind.
Like begets like, they say.

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5. Many bad girls package themselves very well, more than the good girls.
It is obvious that no matter a man’s spiritual or social inclination, he is still moved by what he sees.
Many good girls don’t really dress well. They see good and captivating dress sense as a manifestation of worldliness and carnality. Unfortunately for them, this same good packaging and dress sense has made many men go for the bad girls. It’s amazing to be modest in one’s dress sense as a lady, but a combination of Godliness and super packaging is a plus to any lady.

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6. Many good girls generally know about only spiritual matters.
This is a fact that has been there over the years. A good girl that is a marriage material should work on herself, not to know about spiritual matters alone but also gain knowledge in other spheres of life: education, economy, business, social life, etc. This is helping many bad girls a lot because this knowledge steps a lady up intellectually, economically, and otherwise and positions her strategically for marriage.

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7. Many good girls cannot hold a decent conversation.
This is because they don’t consider the art of effective conversation as a virtue a lady must imbibe. Many bad girls think differently. They know the power of effective conversation and they use it well.

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8. Many good girls are not fashionable.
Fashion evolves in every dispensation. The fashion that people are inclined to changes from time to time. While most bad girls don’t joke with fashion, many good girls don’t care about it.
Certainly, this is part of the reason why many men go for the bad girls when it comes to marriage.

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9. We don’t have enough marriage mentorship classes in our churches.
It is very sad, but the fact remains that we don’t have enough of marriage seminars in our churches, where we have many good girls. Therefore, these good girls may be maturing in many areas of their lives, but when it comes to marriage matters, they score very low marks. Many of the good girls have no idea of what men are looking for in potential wives. The bad girls, on the other hand, go for this knowledge by all means.

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10. Good girls go through a lot of interferences.
These interferences come through their families, friends, church, society, etc.
These interferences take a toll on them to the extent that many of the good girls don’t even know what they want maritally. They allow these interferences because they are good girls and they want to retain the status of good girls among those sources of interference. The bad girls resist these interferences and go for what they want.

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11. Many good girls are lazy.
They are not working hard enough to make money to look good. Looking very good and fashionable is not very cheap. Most men are very attracted to well-dressed ladies, with good fashion sense.

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12. Many good girls use spirituality to show irresponsibility.
It’s very unfortunate but very true, that many ladies that have the characteristics of a good girl do not measure up very well when it comes to being responsible. Responsible ladies in this instance:
Take ownership of their actions, fulfill obligations, and demonstrate self-control and maturity. To a large extent, such ladies who use spirituality to cover up irresponsibility are totally unacceptable to most men.

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13. Many good girls don’t keep secrets.
Certainly, no man would love to marry a lady who doesn’t keep secrets. Good girls who want to get married should work on this urgently.

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14. Many good girls are waiting for a brother from their denomination to propose to them.
In many instances, choice spouses can show up from different church denominations. Therefore, any lady that insists on accepting marriage proposals only from men in their denomination has automatically set a limitation on her marital visitation. There are genuine believers outside every lady’s denomination.

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15. Many good girls lack the capacity to cultivate and maintain good friendship.
This kind of friendship must not have intimacy as part of its package, yet many good girls fall short of this great virtue. Most times, marriage grows out of intentional friendships.

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16. Many good girls avoid caring for brothers completely, to avoid being seen as being cheap.
This is a major minus. Care is a great virtue and it has nothing to do with being cheap.
Many bad girls care for men more than the good girls, and this has helped them to experience marriage more than the ones who avoid caring for brothers, to avoid being seen as cheap girls.

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17. Good home management is lacking in many good girls.
It is a very known fact that many good girls score very low marks when it comes to good home management. To them, just their good character and morals are enough to have men desire to marry them. This is not so—men love ladies who can take care of the home very well.

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18. Many good girls don’t respond to green lights from brothers.
They see such gestures as carnality. No doubt, to be a child of God is an awesome experience. By God’s grace, I am born again and I am an ordained Minister of the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ, but it should be known that in life, it pays all round to be a people person, and any lady that wants to get married should watch out for green lights from genuine men.
Some good girls behave as if they are alone in this world. They see relating in any way with brothers as a sin, to the extent that when brothers extend marital green lights to them, they ignore such totally. The bad girls do the opposite, and this is one of the factors that help them to marry quicker.

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19. Many good girls say they are waiting for God and there is nothing they are doing to get married.
God will never throw a husband down from Heaven to any lady. As you wait on the Lord, make yourself available and findable by inculcating into your life the things I am sharing in this write-up. The bad girls do many things to win men over maritally, although some of these things are not okay for a God-fearing and Jesus-loving lady.

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20. Many good girls are married to Church or their job.
Marriage is not for those who are already married. I have personally found out that many good girls are not available for marriage, yet they keep saying they want to get married. They are not available because they are already married to their church and jobs. By their behaviour, the only thing that matters to them in this world is their church and their job.

In conclusion, It’s both advisable and profitable to be very committed to one’s church and job, but a room should be reserved for marriage if one desires to get married. A balanced life honours God and opens the door to His blessings in every area—including marriage.

Stay tuned for Part 2, where we’ll uncover more insights and practical wisdom to help good girls navigate the path to godly and fulfilling relationships. You don’t want to miss what’s coming next!